A Parody on Confucius Said

Another year of hard work studying Chinese is coming to a close. I thought we could get a taste of classical Chinese and have some fun as well.

As you know, Confucius is the most respected world-renowned ancient Chinese philosopher/teacher. He was born in the Shandong Provide of China in 551 BCE. He served as an adviser to various state governments, had many worthy disciples and a huge following among the elites as well as the common people. His teachings emphasized proper social relationships, the acquisition of knowledge, and the importance of moral values, such as justice, kindness and sincerity.

Not to be confused with “confusion”, “Confucius” is the Roman literalization of 孔夫子 (Kǒng fūzǐ Master Kong), where 孔 (Kǒng) is his surname, and 夫子 (fūzǐ) means a master or a scholar. 孔子 (Kǒngzǐ) is simply the short form of 孔夫子 (Kǒng fūzǐ).

After Confucius died, his disciples and followers wrote down his teachings and remarks in a book called 论语 (Lúnyǔ), which is referred to in English as the Analects of Confucius, or simply the Analects. Throughout the Analects, you will see the expression “子曰 (Zǐ yuē)”, which means “Confucius said”. Please note that the 曰 (yuē) character is wider than the 日 (rì day or the sun) character. The 曰 (yuē) character is not used in present-day Chinese.

As Confucius was regarded as a sage, people listened to and took note of everything that he said. In fact, one of his sayings is akin to the Golden Rule valued in the western culture:

子曰: “己所不欲勿施予人.”
Zǐ yuē: “Jǐ suǒ bù yù wù shī yǔ rén.”
Master Kong said, “Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you.”

Another example is his general advice to the rulers of that time:

子曰: “导千乘之国，
Zǐ yuē: “Dǎo qiān chéng zhī guó,
Master Kong said, “To govern a country of a thousand chariots,

敬事而信
jìng shì ér xìn,
one must attend to the state affairs earnestly and be trustworthy,

节用而爱人，
jié yòng ér àirén,
be prudent with expenses and love the people,

使民以时.”
shǐ mín yǐ shí.”
and call for the people’s service at the proper time.
(Namely, not in conflice with their farm work.)

See how concise and terse written classical Chinese is in comparison with modern Chinese and English?

Among the disciples who closely followed Confucius, there were a few favorites, one of whom was 顏回 (Yán huí). One day, Confucius sighed and blurted out the following in praise of 顏回 (Yán huí), whom he referred to by the first name 回 (Huí).

子曰: “贤哉, 回也!
Zǐ yuē: “Xiánzāi, Huí yě!
Master Kong said, “How virtuous Hui is!

一箪食, 一瓢饮,
Yī dān shí, yī piáo yǐn, zài lòuxiàng.
He only has one bowl of rice to eat and one ladle of water to drink (for a meal);

在陋巷.
zài lòuxiàng
and he lives in a back alley.

人不堪其忧,
Rén bùkān qí yōu,
Other people would find the sorrow (of such poverty) unbearable,

回也不改其乐.
Huí yě bù gǎi qí lè.
yet Hui does not change his happy attitude.

贤哉, 回也!”
Xiánzāi, Huí yě!
How virtuous Hui is!”

As a Chinese saying goes, 知足常乐 (zhī zú cháng lè), i.e. happiness lies in contentment. 顏回 (Yán huí) was a paragon of this virtue.

I studied the Analects of Confucius at high school, and when I mentioned this part to my father, it reminded him of a parody that he once heard uttered in the Shandong dialect. It goes like this:

回儿也! 回儿也!
Huí er yě! Huí er yě!
Hui my boy! Hui my boy!

你真是个好人儿也!
Nǐ zhēnshi gè hǎorén er yě!
You are truly such a good person!

你用篮子吃饭, 瓢儿喝水.
Nǐ yòng lánzi chīfàn, piáo er hē shuǐ.
You eat from a basket and drink from a ladle.

三间破房没大门.
Sān jiān pò fáng méi dàmén.
Your three shabby rooms have no main door.

人家都为你掉眼泪儿.
Rénjiā dōu wèi nǐ diào yǎnlèi er,
Everyone sheds tears for you,

你还说: “没事, 没事.”
nǐ hái shuō méishì, méishì.”
but you still say, “No problem, no problem.”

As you may know, the Shandong dialect, like the dialect of many other Chinee provinces, sounds quite different from Mandarin Chinese. Click here if you would like to listen to my mimicking this parody in the Shandong dialet. For the fun of it, I also tried it in the Taiwanese dialect. Would you like to do it in your own language or dialect? Have a good laugh.

Common Chinese words containing the food radical

Cream Puffs – For the recipe, see “Tame Migraine the Delicious Way“

In the “Records of the Grand Historian“, a colossal writeup and compilation of ancient Chinese history, you can find the following line, which has become an idiom. In particular, the second half is well known to most Chinese and often quoted.
国以民为本，民以食为天.
Guó yǐ mín wéi běn, mín yǐ shí wéi tiān.
The country is based on the people, and the people rely on food.
食 (shí) as a noun means food. In classical Chinese, 食 (shí) is also used as as a verb and means to eat. Colloquially, to eat is 吃 (chī).
天 (tiān) means sky or heaven. Here, 天 refers to the fundamental factor that dominates everything. “民以食为天” points out the fact that food is the first necessity of man. It is an advice given to the ruler/administrators of a country to the effect that if everyone in the country is properly fed, there will be a stable society and the country will prosper. Does this still apply today?
In the traditional Chinese character system, 食 is kept intact when it serves as a radical for another character, whereas in the Simplified Chinese character system, it is reduced to 饣, and in some cases entirely omitted!
In the traditional Chinese character system, the word for surplus or remainder is 餘(yú). In the Simplified Chinese character system, only the right side of the character remains: 余(yú).
饭 (fàn) is cooked rice. Literally, 吃饭 (chīfàn) means to eat rice. However, this expression means to have a meal.
明天来我家吃饭.
Míngtiān lái wǒjiā chīfàn.
Come to have dinner at my house tomorrow.
Similarly, 煮饭 could mean cooking rice or the action of cooking in general.
饥饿 is hunger. 饿 means hungry, while 饱 means having eaten to one’s fill.
餐厅 (cāntīng) is a restaurant or the dining room of a house. 食堂 (shítáng) is a dining room or a mess hall.
我们去餐厅吃饺子吧.
Wǒmen qù cāntīng chī jiǎozi ba.
Let’s go to the restaurant to have dumplings.
食物 (shíwù) is the general term for food and edibles. 食品 (shípǐn) means foodstuff or provisions.
粮食 (liángshi) refers to such foods as grains or cereals.
主食 (zhǔshí) is the staple food, or principal food.
零食 (íngshí) are snacks.
饮料 (yǐnliào) are drinks or beverages.
甜食 (tiánshí) are sweets. 饼干 (bǐnggān) are cookies.
素食 (sùshí) is a vegetarian diet.
饮食 (yǐnshí) means a diet or food and drinks in general.
食谱 (shípǔ) are recipes or a cookbook, such as “Tame Migraine the Delicious Way“.
饲料 (sìliào) is fodder, or feed for animals.
饵 (ěr) is a bait, such as a fish bait, or 鱼饵 (yú’ěr).
食用 (shíyòng) means edible or for eating, as opposed to being for industrial use (such as rubbing alcohol).
节食 (jiéshí) means to go on a diet, while 绝食 (juéshí) is to fast or to go on a hunger strike.
食指 (shízhǐ) is the index finger. Imagine a westerner using the forefinger to point to things, while a Chinese dips the forefinger in the sauce and then places it on the tongue to savor the taste.
食盐 (shíyán) is table salt. 食言 (shíyán) is pronounced exactly the same way, but it means going back on one’s word, or breaking one’s promise.
Now, let’s look at a few commonly used Chinese idioms:
自食其果 (zìshíqíguǒ) means to eat one’s own bitter fruit or to reap what one has sown.
食而不化 (shí’érbùhuà) means to eat without digesting, i.e. to read without understanding.
因噎废食 (yīnyēfèishi) means to give up eating for fear of choking, in other words, to refrain from doing something necessary for fear of a slight risk.
The idiom 弱肉强食 (ruòròuqiángshí) points out the unfortunate fact that the weak are often the prey of the strong. In other words, it’s a jungle out there. Now, as human beings, we strive to cultivate ourselves to tone down our primal instincts and rise above all others in the animal kingdom. Let’s leave aggression and wars behind, but put our efforts in working toward peace and harmonious coexistence.