A Parody on Confucius Said

Contentment

Another year of hard work studying Chinese is coming to a close. I thought we could get a taste of classical Chinese and have some fun as well.

As you know, Confucius is the most respected world-renowned ancient Chinese philosopher/teacher. He was born in the Shandong Provide of China in 551 BCE. He served as an adviser to various state governments, had many worthy disciples and a huge following among the elites as well as the common people. His teachings emphasized proper social relationships, the acquisition of knowledge, and the importance of moral values, such as justice, kindness and sincerity.

Not to be confused with “confusion”, “Confucius” is the Roman literalization of 孔夫子 (Kǒng fūzǐ Master Kong), where 孔 (Kǒng) is his surname, and 夫子 (fūzǐ) means a master or a scholar. 孔子 (Kǒngzǐ) is simply the short form of 孔夫子 (Kǒng fūzǐ).

After Confucius died, his disciples and followers wrote down his teachings and remarks in a book called 论语 (Lúnyǔ), which is referred to in English as the Analects of Confucius, or simply the Analects. Throughout the Analects, you will see the expression “子曰 (Zǐ yuē)”, which means “Confucius said”. Please note that the 曰 (yuē) character is wider than the 日 (rì day or the sun) character. The 曰 (yuē) character is not used in present-day Chinese.

As Confucius was regarded as a sage, people listened to and took note of everything that he said. In fact, one of his sayings is akin to the Golden Rule valued in the western culture:

子曰: “己所不欲勿施予人.”
Zǐ yuē: “Jǐ suǒ bù yù wù shī yǔ rén.”
Master Kong said, “Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you.”

Another example is his general advice to the rulers of that time:

子曰: “导千乘之国,
Zǐ yuē: “Dǎo qiān chéng zhī guó,
Master Kong said, “To govern a country of a thousand chariots,

敬事而信
jìng shì ér xìn,
one must attend to the state affairs earnestly and be trustworthy,

节用而爱人,
jié yòng ér àirén,
be prudent with expenses and love the people,

使民以时.”
shǐ mín yǐ shí.”
and call for the people’s service at the proper time.
(Namely, not in conflice with their farm work.)

See how concise and terse written classical Chinese is in comparison with modern Chinese and English?

Among the disciples who closely followed Confucius, there were a few favorites, one of whom was 顏回 (Yán huí). One day, Confucius sighed and blurted out the following in praise of 顏回 (Yán huí), whom he referred to by the first name 回 (Huí).

子曰: “贤哉, 回也!
Zǐ yuē: “Xiánzāi, Huí yě!
Master Kong said, “How virtuous Hui is!

一箪食, 一瓢饮,
Yī dān shí, yī piáo yǐn, zài lòuxiàng.
He only has one bowl of rice to eat and one ladle of water to drink (for a meal);

在陋巷.
zài lòuxiàng
and he lives in a back alley.

人不堪其忧,
Rén bùkān qí yōu,
Other people would find the sorrow (of such poverty) unbearable,

回也不改其乐.
Huí yě bù gǎi qí lè.
yet Hui does not change his happy attitude.

贤哉, 回也!”
Xiánzāi, Huí yě!
How virtuous Hui is!”

As a Chinese saying goes, 知足常乐 (zhī zú cháng lè), i.e. happiness lies in contentment. 顏回 (Yán huí) was a paragon of this virtue.

I studied the Analects of Confucius at high school, and when I mentioned this part to my father, it reminded him of a parody that he once heard uttered in the Shandong dialect. It goes like this:

回儿也! 回儿也!
Huí er yě! Huí er yě!
Hui my boy! Hui my boy!

你真是个好人儿也!
Nǐ zhēnshi gè hǎorén er yě!
You are truly such a good person!

你用篮子吃饭, 瓢儿喝水.
Nǐ yòng lánzi chīfàn, piáo er hē shuǐ.
You eat from a basket and drink from a ladle.

三间破房没大门.
Sān jiān pò fáng méi dàmén.
Your three shabby rooms have no main door.

人家都为你掉眼泪儿.
Rénjiā dōu wèi nǐ diào yǎnlèi er,
Everyone sheds tears for you,

你还说: “没事, 没事.”
nǐ hái shuō méishì, méishì.”
but you still say, “No problem, no problem.”

As you may know, the Shandong dialect, like the dialect of many other Chinee provinces, sounds quite different from Mandarin Chinese. Click here if you would like to listen to my mimicking this parody in the Shandong dialet. For the fun of it, I also tried it in the Taiwanese dialect. Would you like to do it in your own language or dialect? Have a good laugh.

Chinese idioms and expressions that require some interpretation

Puppy Got a Mouse
狗咬耗子

Some Chinese idioms are similar to their English equivalents, and are therefore more easy to understand. For example, 光阴似箭 (Guāngyīn sì jiàn) means time is like an arrow; in other words, time flies. Many other Chinese idioms and expressions take a bit more effort to understand. Take a look at each of the following idiom sand expressions and see if you can guess its meaning without peeping at the interpretation that follows.

气味相投 (qìwèixiāngtóu)

This idiom describes how the odors of two persons are agreeable to each other. In other words, they are of like minds. It’s debatable whether there are actual pheromes involved.

他们两位气味相投.
Tāmen liǎng wèi qìwèi xiāngtóu.
The two of them are of like minds and get along well.

開門見山 (kāiménjiànshān)

When you open the door, you see the mountain right away. This means to come straight to the point.

他開門見山说要借三百元.
Tā kāiménjiànshān shuō yào jiè sānbǎi yuán.
He went straight to the point and said that he would borrow three hundred yuan.

三教九流 (sānjiàojiǔliú)

Lumping the miscellaneous religious sects and non-mainstream schools together, this is a derogatory term referring to people in various trades or people of all sorts that are not held in high respect. A similar term referring to individual nobodies is 阿猫阿狗 (āmāo āgǒu).

他与三教九流都有来往.
Tā yǔ sānjiàojiǔliú dōu yǒu láiwǎng.
He has contacts with all sorts of people.

天衣无缝 (tiānyēwúfèng)

缝 (féng) pronounced in the second tone means to sew or to stitch, where as 缝 (fèng) pronounced in the fourth tone means a seam, a crack or a fissure. Therefore, “a seamless heavenly robe” means flawless.

他的计划不能说是天衣无缝的.
Tā de jì huá bùnéng shuō shì tiānyīwúfèng de.
His plan cannot be said to be flawless.

异想天开 (yìxiǎngtiānkāi)

In Chinese, the word 天 (tiā) refers to both the sky and the heaven. When heaven opens, one would expect to be showered upon with all kinds of blessings. Therefore, this expression means to have a very fantastic idea, to daydream, or to have one’s head in the clouds.

以他微薄的收入, 拥有一架私人飞机简直是异想天开.
Yǐ tā wéibó de shōurù, yǒngyǒu yī jià sīrén fēijī jiǎnzhí shì yìxiǎngtiānkāi.
With his meager income, owning a private jet is simply fantastic.

狗咬耗子 (gǒu yǎo hàozi)

It’s the cat’s job to catch mice. Therefore, when a dog gets a mouse, it’ like sticking one’s thumb in a pie. This idiom is usually followed by “多管闲事 (duō guǎn xiánshì)”.

哼! 真是狗咬耗子, 多管闲事!
Hēng! Zhēnshi gǒu yǎo hàozi, duō guǎn xiánshì!
Hmph! Meddling in my business like a dog catching a mouse!

九牛二虎 (jiǔ niú èr hǔ)

When it takes nine bulls and two tigers to pull a load, that means the task requires an inordinate amount of effort to accomplish.

他费了九牛二虎的力气才把柜子搬到楼上.
Tā fèile jiǔ niú èr hǔ de lìqì cái bǎ guìzi bān dào lóu shàng.
It took him an inordinate amount of effort to move the cabinet upstairs.

换汤不换药 (huàntāngbùhuànyào)

Chinese herb medicine is normally prepared by steeping or simmering an assortment of herbs in water to make a drink or soup. Adding fresh water to spent herbs won’t produce an effective concoction. This idiom refers to a change in form but not in content, or presenting the same old stuff with a different label.

这个新政策还是那老套, 换汤不换药.
Zhège xīn zhèngcè háishì nà lǎo tào, huàn tāng bù huàn yào.
This new policy is still like the old stuff, changing out the soup but not the medicine.

See Chapter 28 in “Learn Chinese through Songs and Rhymes” for a collection of commonly used Chinese idioms and expressions.

A Paraphrase of Invictus in Chinese

Victory Hand Sign

Invictus is a well-known poem written in 1875 by the English poet William Earnest Henley while he was recuperating in the hospital after surgeries were performed to save his right foot. He had contracted tuberculosis about ten years before, and a complication had necessitated the amputation of the lower part of his left leg. Despite the suffering and physical limitations brought about by these infirmities, Henley’s spirit remained undaunted. He laughed at fate in its face. The most frequently quoted part from Invictus is: “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” You can click here to read the entire poem.

Following is an interpretation of the poem in Chinese prose. The English text corresponds closely to the Chinese. Notice, however, that the word order is necessarily different in some of the Chinese and English sentences. If you have any questions, please post a comment to this blog.

从这笼罩着我的
Cóng zhè lǒngzhào zhe wǒ de
From the dark night that envelops me,

黑得像从南极到北极的深坑的黑夜中,
hēi dé xiàng cóng nánjí dào běijí de shēn kēng de hēiyè zhòng,
one that is black as a pit going from the South Pole to the North Pole,

我向诸神致谢,
wǒ xiàng zhū shén zhìxiè,
I thank the gods

感谢他们赐给了我一个不可征服的灵魂.
Gǎnxiè tāmen cì gěile wǒ yīgè bùkě zhēngfú de línghún.
for having granted me an invincible soul.

在恶劣处境的爪牙里,
Zài èliè chǔjìng de zhǎoyá lǐ,
In the claws and fangs of adversities,

我没有畏缩, 也没有大声哭泣.
wǒ méiyǒu wèisuō, yě méiyǒu dàshēng kūqì.
I have not winced, nor cried aloud.

经过厄运多次的的打击,
Jīngguò èyùn duō cì de de dǎjí,
Having been repeatedly struck by ill fate,

我的头是血淋淋的, 但依然挺直不屈.
wǒ de tóu shì xiělínlín de, dàn yīrán tǐng zhí bùqū.
my head is bloody, but it is still held high and unyielding.

环绕着这个充满愤怒和泪水的地方,
huánrǎo zhe zhège chōngmǎn fènnù hé lèishuǐ dì dìfāng,
Surrounding this place that is filled with indignation and tears,

除了阴影的恐怖, 别无他物.
chúle yīnyǐng de kǒngbù, biéwú tā wù.
there is nothing except the horror of shadows.

然而, 这多年来的折磨与威胁,
Rán’ér, zhè duōnián lái de zhémó yǔ wēixié,
However, what the torment and menace over these years

它们所面对的仍是无所畏惧的我.
tāmen suǒ miàn duì de réng shì wú suǒ wèijù de wǒ.
are facing is still the fearless me.

无论天堂之门有多狭窄,
Wúlùn tiāntáng zhī mén yǒu duō xiázhǎi,
No matter how narrow the road to Heaven is,

天命有多么坎坷,
tiānmìng yǒu duōme kǎnkě,
or how doomed destiny can be,

我是我命运的主人,
wǒ shì wǒ mìngyùn de zhǔrén,
I am the master of my fate,

我是我灵魂的统帅.
wǒ shì wǒ línghún de tǒngshuài.
and I am the captain of my soul.

Three cheers for all who have such a positive attitude on life!

By the way, one of my readers has made this a particularly enjoyable autumn day for me by sending in his English translation of the beautiful song “Autumn Cicada” to share with us all. You can find it in the Comment section of that blog post.

N.B. Just found out that amazon.com has slashed the price for the print copy of “Learn Chinese through Songs and Rhymes” to $6.09. If you have been wanting to get this book, now is a good time to do so, before it goes back to the list price.